Prattle

Prattle-free Podcast 80 comments
m posted in Podcasts on January 30th, 2006

The Decemberists, Oranger, Caged Baby, Half Man Half Biscuit, Sunshine Underground, Graham Coxon, Simple Kid, Head of femur, Jason Falkner.

A variety of things, mainly from albums I didn’t like at first. I’ve extracted some good tracks, I think.
Download it from here. These be the contents;

The Decemberists - 16 by 32; Oranger - Haeter; Caged Baby - Amplified heart; Half Man Half Biscuit - Vatican broadside; Sunshine Underground - Commercial breakdown; Graham Coxon - You & I; Simple Kid - I am rock; Head of femur - 80 steps to Jonah; Jason Falkner - Hey little spider.

Some slightly odd things, and some other things that start off OK, but become very good towards the end. I’m testing your patience. It’s what I do.

Prattle-free Podcast 70 comments
m posted in Podcasts on January 15th, 2006

Sondre Lerche, Gloss, The Robocop Kraus, Laptop, Polysics, Stars, Grandaddy, Mando Diao, bonus track.

This one includes some tracks I think have been wrongly overlooked in recent years, and a few new songs (including the excellent single by the dreadfully named Robocop Kraus). Download it from here. Here are the contents;

Sondre Lerche - Love you/Track you down; Gloss - Aeroplane; The Robocop Kraus - You don’t have to shout; Laptop - I’m so happy you failed; Polysics - Baby bias; Stars - Ageless beauty; Grandaddy - Pull the curtains; Mando Diao - Paralyzed; A little bonus track which most people will recognise.

I know it hasn’t been very long since the last one, but I had to get Robocop Kraus out there. Shame the rest of their album (released a while ago, it seems) isn’t a patch on the single.

Lottery mishapComments Off
m posted in General moans on January 15th, 2006

They seem to have made a mistake with the lottery draw. I’ve adjusted my shopping list accordingly. With my winnings, I will buy the following;

• Nothing.

Lottery Winners on acidComments Off
m posted in General moans on January 11th, 2006

This weekend’s Euro-millions lottery has a jackpot of 70 million pounds. Considering I’ve been doing the lottery, on and off, for about 11 years, I think it’s probably my turn to win. So, in anticipation of my almost inevitable jackpot win, I’m working on a shopping list. With my 70 million pounds, I’ll do or buy the following;

• New house, because the current one isn’t big enough to accommodate a pool table (9-ball).
• Pool table (9-ball), to put in new house.
• Carbon-fibre washing-up bowl and drainer set.
• A collection of flats near things I like e.g. one in Reykjavik, one in London (for gig accommodation), one in the Alps, etc. Reykjavik accommodation will inevitably end up as a base for stalking Heidrun Anna Bjornsdottir, with a view to attempting to woo her and/or persuade/pay her to make more records.
• A snowdome franchise, and the necessary land, which can be opened in Bristol. The one in Tamworth seems to succeed, so imagine if they built one in a town where people walk on their hind legs and have jobs.
• A helicopter gunship. I don’t really plan on starting any wars, but it would be nice to have it as an option for trips to factory outlet shopping centres; “Shall we take the Mazda or the helicopter gunship?” May need extra storage capacity, so I’ll see if there’s a trailer on the options list. A roof-rack seems unlikely.
• A bionic eye.
• Legitimate software licenses.
• A phone whose predictive text is based on the English language. Or any language, really.
• Small concert/village hall, with seating for about 100 people. I would then pay for the Zutons to play a gig in the hall, and invite 3 or 4 people to be in the audience. The band’s fee will be dependent on how long they stay on stage. Audience selection criteria will hinge on the level of repugnance held for the Zutons. The Zutons will come on stage, accompanied by whatever backing tape they usually use (I like to think it’s Yakkety Sax), and begin playing their bloody useless songs. As soon as the first note is struck, the crowd will begin heckling from the back of the room. After one minute, the crowd will begin throwing fruit. After 1 minute 30 seconds, they will throw unoccupied chairs at the stage. After 2 minutes and 30 seconds, they will throw spears. By the end of the first song, the saxophonist should be dead. The crowd must let out a collective yawn during the amusingly optimistic inter-song pause for applause. As the band move on to their second song, the crowd walks out and cuts the power. The doors are locked and the hall is set on fire. I will pay the rebuilding costs, and hand the hall back to the community in which it sits. The Zutons’ ashes will be mixed in with wet concrete and poured into the mouth of James Blunt until he bursts.
• “Upper Class” tickets to various world destinations, for the purchase of cheap litre-bottles of Jack Daniel’s. The tickets may be downgraded to cattle-class if I decide to send a minion instead. One doesn’t like to spoil one’s “help”.
• An Alienware PC and laptop.
• A decent home recording studio in which I can record one song every five years, and release it under a cowardly pseudonym. “The Zutons”, perhaps.
• A solid gold trowel.
• Two hundred barrels of oil, which I will place in George Galloway’s back garden while he’s further denigrating the institution of parliament in the Big Brother house.
• Llanelli Scarlets rugby team/club, who I would assist in their stated aim to embrace North Wales as part of their region, by relocating them to the top of Snowdon. May need to buy Snowdon from Anthony Hopkins and the National Trust and close the mountain railway in order to force access by foot.
• Gwent Dragons rugby team/club, who I would move from Newport to Ebbw Vale, and rename “The Ebbw Vale no-stars”.
• A completely automated washing machine and conveyer belt system, which silently transports worn clothes from bedroom to washing machine, then washes them, dries them, irons them, sorts them and delivers them to the correct shelves and drawers. Employ Trevor Bayliss as a consultant on this project, on condition that he shuts up about clockwork mechanisms and saving the third world by enabling them to listen to the World Service. The UK album chart does not a famine stop.
• A slot/fruit machine in every room (many fruit machines in The Fruit Machine Room.) Some of which will be diamond-encrusted.

The title of this post, by the way, is taken from an excellent song by The Crimea. It is not a suggestion that my new-found millions will lead me towards St. Paul’s (the area of town, rather than the London cathedral) and the dubious offerings some of its residents are able to proffer.

I will report back on Saturday - the day after the draw - to let you know how far through the list I have got. In the 24 hours between winning and posting to web log, I suppose I might have started on the interim purchases but not the main list; so I might just have bought the Aston Martin and solid gold toothbrush by that point. A revised list will be issued if I’m forced to share my millions with another winner elsewhere in Europe. Might take some of the diamonds off the fruit machines.

Prattle-free Podcast of 20050 comments
m posted in Podcasts on January 6th, 2006

Best of 2005 - Weezer, Weddoes, Art Brut, Envelopes, Brendan Benson, Cardigans, Sigur Ros, New Pornographers, Ambulance, Clor, NIN, Mew, System of a down, Crimea, Of Montreal, Maximo Park, Spinto Band, dEUS, Nada Surf.

Tracks from my favourite albums of the year. Click here for the 2005 chart Podcast, and all the previous ones. This is what’s in it;

Weezer - My best friend; The Wedding Present - It’s for you; Art Brut - Emily Kane; Envelopes - Sister in love; Brendan Benson - Last man standing; The Cardigans - Godspell; Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla; The New Pornographers - The bleeding heart show; Ambulance LTD - Heavy lifting; Hot hot heat - Middle of nowhere; Clor - Outlines; Nine inch nails - The hand that feeds; Mew - Special; System of a down - Sad statue; The Crimea - Girl just died; Of Montreal - The party’s crashing us; Maximo Park - Apply some pressure; Spinto Band - Late; dEUS - If you don’t get what you want; Nada Surf - Do it again.

They’re not in order of preference, and they’re not necessarily my favourite tracks from the albums. I’d already put some of my favourites on previous Podcasts, so I chose some different ones. Except Hoppipolla, which can’t really be ignored.

Albums of 20050 comments
m posted in General moans, Music on January 2nd, 2006

So, here’s my favourite 30 albums of 2005. Their order changes on a regular basis, but I’ll stick with this for now. Won’t bother writing little reviews of them, as I’m still using an annoying laptop to type this stuff up. Go to Pitchfork or Amazon for further information. Podcast featuring tracks from the top 20 will follow. I ought to point out that because I imported it from the U.S. last year, Arcade Fire’s sublime “Funeral” went into last year’s chart, and is therefore exempt from this year’s. It would’ve been number 1.

30 - Death cab for cutie - Plans
29 - Doves - Some cities
28 - My Computer - No CV
27 - Bloc Party - Silent alarm
26 - M83 - Before the dawn heals us
25 - We are scientists - With love and squalor
24 - Goldie lookin’ chain - Safe as fuck
23 - Shout out louds - Howl howl gaff gaff
22 - Final Fantasy - Has a good home
21 - The Bravery - The Bravery

20 - New Pornographers - Twin cinema	19 - Envelopes - Demon
18 - Weezer - Make believe	17 - Sigur Ros - Takk
16 - Nine inch nails - With teeth	15 - Cardigans - super extra gravity
14 - Mew - And the glass handed kites	13 - System of a down - Mesmerize
12 - Clor - Clor	11 - The Wedding Present - Take fountain
10 - Art Brut - Bang bang rock’n'roll	09 - Ambulance LTD - Ambulance LTD
08 - Of Montreal - The Sunlandic twins	07 - Hot Hot Heat - Elevator
06 - The Crimea - Tragedy rocks (reissue)	05 - Brendan Benson - Alternative to love
04 - Nada Surf - The weight is a gift	03 - Maximo Park - A certain trigger
02 - dEUS - Pocket Revolution	01 - Spinto Band - Nice and nicely done